Twenty Years
by Night Ryder711
Summary: "You were so small... I feared you wouldn't make it." Valka explains to Hiccup why she never returned to Berk.
_Summary: "You were so small… I feared you wouldn't make it." Valka explains to her son why she never returned to Berk._

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 **Authors Note: Marvels next movie, Captain America Civil War comes out in three days. Yes! It looks so good. Me and my friend have already booked the tickets. And in 3D too! Ah, I can't wait.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own How to Train Your Dragon, 1 or 2.** **All rights belong to DreamWorks and Cressida Cowell.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **XXX**

Hiccup sighed tiredly as he entered his house and at his side, Toothless grumbled and curled up at the fireplace. The week had been chaotic for the both of them, to best describe it. He had been needed all over the island, constantly, always settling disputes or needed for advice that could have been worked on their own. Not to mention cleaning up the damage that Drago left behind. And Toothless being the Alpha complicated things a little.

He grabbed a block of ice and plopped into his chair. He didn't know how his father had done it. Speaking of his father…

Hiccup glanced sorrowfully at his father's large chair. He and his mother, Valka, had never moved it from its spot. He sighed again. Even now, the house seemed too quiet and small without his father's booming voice or large figure.

Valka came out of the kitchen, carrying a mug. She smiled at her son. "I thought I heard you come home." She handed him the mug and Hiccup took a grateful gulp of the water. "How was chiefing today?"

Hiccup waved a hand through the air. "Same as always; horrible. I feel like I'm a baby yak swimming in butter," he admitted to his mother.

Valka laughed. "Oh, that will go away. Stoick told me once he felt the same way."

Hiccup eyebrows rose in disbelief. "Really?" It was hard to imagine his father who was always so… well, _stoic_ , running around the island as a mess.

Valka's eyes softened as she remembered the past. "Yes." Then she patted Hiccups arm. "Trust me, you're doing better than you think you are."

Valka hummed as she moved about the room and Hiccup noticed that it was the song she and Stoick had sung when they reunited. _For the Dancing and the Dreaming_ , it was called.

It was times like these that Hiccup wondered why, _why_ she had never even bothered to come back to Berk, to her son and her husband. She had said something to him back at the Dragon Sanctuary, but he was her _son_ and Hiccup just couldn't understand why.

"Mum?" Hiccup asked softy.

"Hmm?" She hummed in reply, stooping low to scratch Toothless under an earflap. Toothless purred.

"All those years… Why did you stay away?"

Valka froze. She hadn't been expecting that to come out of his mouth.

"Twenty years, mum," Hiccup continued. "And all that time, I thought you were dead."

Valka exhaled slowly. "I thought I was doing what was best for everyone. For Berk, for Stoick… For you. I told you before, that I was no dragon killer but Berk was. Peace wasn't possible in their minds. Not then, at least," she corrected, glancing at Toothless who was still curled up before the fire. His head was raised, an ear cocked as he listened to the two humans.

"I thought you would be shunned by everyone if I was there, made to feel like an Outcast. I couldn't stand the thought of being the cause of that."

"I could have come back," Valka admitted, not looking at Hiccup. "But I didn't even try. Part of the reason was Cloudjumper-"a wistful smile filled her face as she thought of her dear companion, "-and knowing I couldn't go back when I knew what dragons were _truly_ like. But a part of me was scared. Scared of what I would find." She looked at Hiccup imploringly. "You were so small, so frail, I feared you wouldn't make it. I thought I was better off, not knowing if…" she trailed off, her eyes distant.

Hiccup watched in silence as his mother straightened up. She had told him that he had been small and frail, but she hadn't mentioned this.

"I always thought of you, of how you would grow up and who you would take after. I always imagined that you would grow up just like your father – brave, wise, large and strong. A dragon slayer," she added the last part so quietly Hiccup almost missed it." She chuckled now. "But I see now that you took after me."

She continued on. "Years passed and I convinced myself that I had no place in your life, that you were better off without me. Oh, how I wanted to see you and Stoick. Not a day went by that I did not miss you or your father. But you were growing up and so long, you'd been without a mother. I thought you and your father would hate me, for staying away, and choosing dragons over you. And you would have every right too."

Her shoulders slumped and her face seemed to age. For the first time since he had found her, Valka looked old.

"For twenty years, I told myself this was for the best. And then you came into my life and I realised how wrong I was. That day we spent together, as mother and son, I saw just how much you took after me."

"I shouldn't have stayed away, I know that now. And I know that you may never truly be able to forgive me. But I promise you now Hiccup, I will never leave you again."

She stopped, and Hiccup knew that that was the end of her speech. Valka had turned away from him again, arms wrapped around herself. Toothless crooned in worry.

Hiccup was reminded that she had lived by herself for twenty years, no human physical contact. And Hiccup couldn't stay mad at her. He understood a little better now, and he was not the only one to have suffered staying away. Things weren't fully healed between them, might never be, but they were together now and that was all that mattered.

He stood up, the block of ice forgotten, and wrapped his arms around his mother in a tight embrace. She stiffened at first, surprised, but her arms relaxed and wrapped around her son.

"Mum," Hiccup mumbled into her shoulder. "I'm really glad you're here."

"And here I am to stay, my son," Valka promised him again.

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 **Authors Note: Don't forget to tell me what you think. And I don't really have anything else to say, but I hope you enjoyed it. It was a little bit rushed.**

 **-Night Ryder711**


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